Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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