meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
