It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im holly from the hills drunk
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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