Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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