Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
