It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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