I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
