I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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