he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
