Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would ride that face into the sunset
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
