i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
