What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
