i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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