I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its not stalking. its research.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
