Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
