thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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