Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
