got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
worst night to have a conscience
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
