I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize