am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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