Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
