Duck Duck Cougar?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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