I'm gonna have a badass scar
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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