i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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