I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
