All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
