I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
