If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
