Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
