I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
