Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
