i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
