He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
