No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
