All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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