some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
