The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
