She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
