he puts the penis in happiness.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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