there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
