Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
