Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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