Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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