Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
