she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
