Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
