You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
