Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
