You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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