yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
