lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
