I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's official drugs can't kill me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
