I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Less talking, more tequila
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize