Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you made out with another girl for some wings
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize