Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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