GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
