this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
