Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
