I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize