brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
