i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I love you. Go after that dick
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
