I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
