well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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