bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
