I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize