he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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