She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Nicole vs. Life
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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