maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
