Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
