PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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