Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
