Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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