I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize