My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
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