Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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