I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
