Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize