hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I puked a lego.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
