Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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