This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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