I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
