Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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