i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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