weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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