just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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